You see professional "boaters" paddling and pushing their way through the water with their strong muscles, one or more on each side (but always an equal number), each putting in the share of the work to make the canoe go fast, and straight. Have you ever experienced or witnessed someone stop rowing on one side of the boat? The results aren't grand.
Relationships and friendships are just like two people rowing a boat. It takes equal strength and equal effort to row the boat. It's not always easy, you're going to get tired, and it's going to hurt sometimes. You're going to want to give up and stop rowing, but you can't. If you stop rowing the boat while the other person is still rowing, your boat will go off course.
In a relationship, you can not just give up and stop rowing your side of the boat. When you do, your relationship/friendship starts to go off track, and then you'll end up somewhere that you never wanted to be in the first place. Don't quit rowing, don't stop doing your share of the work.
What if your partner quits rowing their side of the boat?You have two options. Either you row strenuously to make up for your partners loss of rowing, or you stop rowing all together. There are different outcomes for each action. If you row as hard as possible to keep the boat going straight, you are going to get even more tired than you were before rowing with your partner. All of your strength and effort is going to go into this rowing alone, and sometimes, it doesn't even work, because without the other person rowing, you still may get off the right path, all the while tiring yourself out.
The other option is to stop rowing. The obvious outcome of that choice, is that you both have stopped rowing, and you're at a stand still.
If your friend or significant other stops rowing, but you want so hard for things to work, that you take on their work in the relationship, you will find yourself exhausted, and not getting very far in the end. It's never possible to get where you want to be with only one person rowing, as opposed to both rowing.
As well, the other alternative is to stop rowing. They stopped doing their share, so you stop doing your share. Maybe that choice will be the better one in the end. Why should you give it your all and tire yourself out, when your partner isn't willing to do the same? Sometimes coming to a tranquil place in the relationship is what's needed. Neither of you are pushing, neither of you are rowing. Another analogy is like a malfunctioning car. It's better to stop driving the car, and wait for the repairs, than trying to drive the broken vehicle, because you will just damage it further. Let it sit. Wait for the repairs. They will come, sooner or later, and if they don't, you know that car was never worth it in the first place, and it's time to get a new one.
Either way, rowing your side of the boat is essential in any situation. You have responsibilities, you have a friend, you have a significant other, whatever the case may be, you need to do you share. And if you give up,, you decide to stop rowing your side of the boat, you leave your friend or partner in a tough situation with a hard decision to make. So don't make them make it. And if you know you're going to stop rowing and doing your part, at least let the other know before you stop rowing.
The greatest relationships come out of two people who are best friends, and can communicate with one another in the correct way, just like professional "canoe-rs". They both establish in the beginning of the relationship that they're both going to have to work hard and do an equal amount of the work to finish the race successfully, just as you and your "other" should decide that to be successful, both should do the equal amount of work.
Two people. Two paddles. And one boat.
2 people need to paddle.
Keep the boat going straight.
Do your share.
Don't stop rowing.
"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream..."
No comments:
Post a Comment