Settling ?

Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do."
It's unusual how much we are all blessed with a brain and the ability to use it, but how many of us truly utilize the fact that we know that we have it?

Our brain can be deceived though, by something that looks good and feels good. Most of the time in these situations, our hearts are involved. But how do we know what is right and what is wrong? Psalms 111:10 says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, all who follow his precepts have good understanding."

Many times in my life have I let my heart get the best of me. I've let it speak over my brain, I've let it speak over my friends good advice, and most importantly, but most shameful, I've let my own heart speak over the heart of the Lord.
This is one of my biggest downfalls, but by calling out my faults, I am acknowledging them and clearly letting myself know what I need to change.

As I get older I learn more and more. I'm not saying I know everything, but I sure so know a lot more than I knew a year ago. I'm slowly learning the ways of my heart and the things its chooses, and the things that is chooses, that it shouldn't choose. Being that I am 20 years young, almost 21, I have a strong desire  to fall in love, get married, have children, own a house, and essentially start my life with my significant other. It seems that I always search for love in all the wrong places. I know that I love Jesus, I know that he is my all in all, and that he can fill every void in my life, but he will never replace the love and affection of my future earthly husband. So of course I am searching for the "one". I also know that I need to have patience and let God bring the perfect man into my life, but it seems my heart always takes over this part of my life. I am always searching, always wondering, if he could be the one.
I seem to fall for the guys who put on a good face. Of course there are things that attract me to a guy. A guy with a heart warming smile, someone who can play acoustic guitar, someone who loves kids as much as I do, and most importantly I desire someone with a pure loving heart.

I've been doing decently good with the first few things, but lately I've been falling for guys who are liars, guys who love to play games with my heart, guys who don't follow Jesus, guys who are needy, and on the other end of the spectrum, guys who I don't talk to enough, then forget I exist.

It hurts me the most when I think that someone is being untruthful with me, and I later find out they've been lying to me the whole time. It hurts me because all that I've put into that person, I'm still not worth the truth, but I am worth the truth. If you cant be truthful to me, then God bless you, but you're not worth my time and I am taking a stand for what I believe in, and that is knowing that I, Amanda Wright, I am worth the truth, no matter what.

I want someone who follows Jesus as much as I do. If not as much, so much closer and more than me. I believe that I need someone who can help me strengthen my faith rather than tear it down, or keep me at a stand still. My dream is for my husband to be the head of the household, and to take my family and I to church. I know that I am a child of God and he has someone really great for me, but I need to have patience and let God do all the choosing, not my own heart.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him,
   and he will guide your path. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

I've been hurt so many times that I am starting to build walls up and not trust anyone unless they've earned it. I am tired of liars, I'm tired of people not caring enough, not just about themselves, but also about me. I've been told once, "Never settle for anything less than you deserve." I'm done settling for the losers, the liars, the douche bags, and the players. I'm waiting for God to place Mr. Right in my life at the right moment, to take away my title of Miss. Wright.

For those of you out there struggling and searching for the one, or are in an ehh relationship, ask yourself if you are settling. Most of us are. But these settling relationships hurt us, and in no way benefit us, rather than keeping us in or below our comfort zone. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us , "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

If you clog up your heart with all the wrong relationships, all the wrong attractions, and the wrong reasons for being with someone, you are slowly clogging your connection to life, your heart.

When you block your heart with the things that you want, there is no room for what God wants. Our lives pour out from our hearts and if they are fogged with worldly things, ungodly relationships, lies, hurts and so on, our lives will suffer.

So remember to have patience, "But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."- Romans 8:24-25.

We, mostly I, need to remember that love is patient. Not only patiently waiting, but also guarding our hearts from all who want to clog it and take a piece that doesn't belong to them, while we are waiting.

The Lord your God loves you, and he never wants you to settle for anything less than you deserve. He wants you to patiently wait for the VERY BEST, and in the meantime, guard that little gentle heart of yours.